[trade] how i embrace my inner child
This blog post title was traded to me by Absurd Pirate. For more info, click here.
This is what I came back with from the stationery store.
As my wife and I sat at the table - her to paint her minis, me to draw in my little notebook and use my new markers and stickers - she said: “I don’t say this to devalue you, but this is kind of a child activity.” and smiled. And I agreed. It’s definitely something I enjoy because it’s somewhat childish - just means it’s easy and low stakes and nothing adding to your productivity or value in the labor market.
I’m so happy that I can be content with small stuff as opposed to exclusively huge, expensive, hard to get things. Having big goals doesn’t change that or interfere. Yes, I want more and I expect a lot from myself; I’m a very ambitious and disciplined person and I can be very serious, but I’ll kick my feet and smile and jump about cute stickers I bought and using them.
Who wouldn't want a guaranteed time of just a flow state and happiness that is cheap or even free and doesn't have to be perfect? Everyone should have an easy, accessible thing that saves their day. It doesn’t have to be consumerist either! I bought supplies, but it’s not the buying or owning that’s the high, it’s the using and looking at what I created. I can have this experience over and over again without spending money every time.
I don’t relate to people who can only be happy through very intense or drastic things, even if that makes them seem more mature, luxurious and cultured. Like “Look at me! I’m a very serious adult so I’m only happy about money, vacations and expensive cars and jewelry! I only reward myself if I reach this almost impossible career goal, and then the reward is wine!”
Those are hard to come by or have some serious cons to me. Meanwhile my appreciation for the small and easy things like seeing a stag beetle or getting fresh flowers or putting stickers in my notebook keep me happy for less, and I reward myself with tasty beverages for showing up to work even though it is mundane and expected. I buy myself cute bathbombs and I might put foam in the tub, too. I have a plushie boar I adore.
I buy things I need in pink sometimes because it makes me happy, even if that comes across as immature to some due to the associations people have with the color. I couldn't do that in childhood for a variety of reasons, despite wanting to.
I also started to occasionally buy gems and crystals in 2019 (and got gifted some) because it makes me happy to look at them - and that is actually something I did in childhood already. I had a huge box of stones under my bed that I had collected and I cried hard as a kid when an adult threw away some of my stones. Now she gets to have even prettier stones.
These are some ways I embrace my inner child. I also make sure to rest, to listen, and being someone she would admire. The way I build my confidence and stand up for myself belongs to this, too. Speaking openly about things, taking myself seriously, not being a doormat. Affording her the lifestyle she deserved, and owing her to pursue my goals. Growing out of the acquired teenage mindset of wanting to seem as mature as possible and denouncing all things possibly interpreted as childish.
In a way, it’s never too late to have a good childhood, if you know what I mean.
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Published 27 Jun, 2025