[quote] the unseen by allison pugh - loneliness & depersonalization
I read Allison J. Pugh's article "The Unseen" on Aeon, and felt like wanting to keep and share some quotes of it. Deeply enjoyed it, I recommend reading the full article.
"[...]pundits and policymakers are applying the word ālonelinessā to address a real and growing problem, but they are applying the wrong diagnosis. What they might call ālonelinessā is actually a different sort of crisis, one of depersonalisation. Depersonalisation is what happens when people feel not exactly lonely, but rather profoundly invisible. What is missing here is what scholars call ārecognitionā, āmatteringā or ābeing seenā ā the notion that you are seen and heard, even emotionally understood, by the people around you, as opposed to feeling insignificant or invisible to others."
[...]
"But while the working-class and poor may endure more invisibility, the spread of being subject to someone elseās data collection, of scripted and standardised interactions with chatbots and AI agents, affects people up and down the class ladder. Depersonalisation has come for us all."
[...]
"Depersonalisation can come from living in excessively standardised environments, such as the military or other mass institutions, as Sarahās patient might attest. It can also emerge when people live in a community but are not of a community, perhaps due to a marginalised identity or a recent move."
(School and university definitely feel like that, too.)
[...]
"The way we participate in online spaces contributes to their impact. For instance, while staying in touch with friends and family is the most common reason people give for using social media, around half maintain this is not their primary motivation; indeed, almost 40 per cent report they use social media to āfill spare timeā, testament to the growing use of social media as entertainment as much as connection. Ultimately, depersonalisation can stem from endlessly scrolling past other peopleās posts, serving as merely an audience for their experiences, bearing witness to other people while never being witnessed in return."
(Think of the parasocial fandoms people raise, where they know everything about a person's life while the influencer doesn't know they exist.)
These trends at the root of depersonalisation ā the standardisation of interactions and contexts, the exclusion of the marginalised in fractured communities, and the proliferation of screen time for a perennial audience ā are not distributed evenly. The less advantage you have as a client, patient, student or worker, the more standardised your environment, the more likely you are to be subjected to bias, the more likely you are to be excluded.*"
[...]
"If we are facing a depersonalisation crisis, why is all the talk about loneliness? I think this is, in part, because the focus on loneliness serves the interests of those who would sell us its solution ā ironically, some of the same characters who are helping to cause the problem in the first place."
[...]
"Technologists want us to focus on loneliness, not depersonalisation. Of course, social media platforms like Facebook, Reddit or Instagram are a bundle of contradictions for peopleās relationships with friends and family, with plenty of implications for loneliness. The screens take us away from being fully present with people in our immediate environs, even as social media also enhances ties further afield. In fact, researchers say social media provides a form of āsocial snackingā, offering brief connections to other people that can help users tolerate a lack of ārealā (long-term or in-person) social interaction for longer. Particularly for lurkers and other passive users, social media contributes to both connecting and feeling disconnected, which explains the confusing fact that researchers report: social media use increases both satisfaction and dissatisfaction about oneās relationships. Just like the not-quite-filling calories from a fast-food snack, the social snacking of social media ensures a continued supply of connection-hungry customers coming back for more."
[...]
"Just like the purveyors of āfeminine hygieneā products, educational toys or body deodorant, then, technologists both sell a widely touted crisis and profit from its solutions. They have become merchants of loneliness. When we understand the problem as loneliness, then it might make sense to assert that all kinds of connections, even those with machines, might help. But when we understand the problem as depersonalisation, the mechanised relationship becomes a harder sell."
[...]
"When I asked Peter, an engineer, what he thought humans still had to offer in this work, he said: āan audience that mattersā. [...] He still wasnāt sure, however, if one could āproject enough humanness onto a robot that you want to make it proud of youā."
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Published 21 Jun, 2025