i'm tired

16 Jul, 2025

My year has been pretty eventful so far.

I'm still doing full-time work, my parttime degree, and the separate certification for data protection law on the side. I had two exams in March, three in May/June, and I'll have five more the next two months. On the side, I started to translate and summarize court decisions for GDPRhub and already got one out, but my next one is very complex and long and it's been taking a while next to everything else. I've been chipping away at it in increments.

Lately, I also asked for new challenges and tasks at work because it has just been bringing me to a boreout - having lots to do outside of work doesn't fill those 8 hours during my office days and it's demotivating not being invested in my work. It's been mixed; my first choice was blocked, but my boss is working to get me into new teams and projects that use my skillset more. There's a project about migrating an Access¹ database to Oracle APEX which I am supposed to help with, which works well because I already manage one APEX database, but I'm not sure if it will be moving forward as the person I'm supposed to meet with about this has been acting strange about it.

I've also made an effort to get out more and socialize - the networking event I talked about in my events vs. privacy post, but also going to local game store events to play MtG Commander in person and some evenings in voice chat with friends who live far away. I also go to the gym usually 3-4 times a week, and I still write on this blog and my matcha blog. Then I also changed some DNS stuff around on my domains two days ago and I have been making first steps in spinning up a VPS to selfhost in the future.

I guess I am making up for last year when I couldn't do much but waiting in bed until the medication for my Crohn's disease and Bechterew's disease worked. I actually took the iOS' Health app Mental Health Questionnaire that it offers me about once a year, and compared to a result of moderate anxiety and moderate depression last year around that time, it's now 'minimal/none'. :)

Still, today is a bit of a struggle. I think the heavy socializing recently and the new developments at work have really drained me, some of it also coinciding with my period. It's been harder to take care of myself, to plan meals, to drink enough, to do my daily stretches and bring up the motivation to draw in my notebook, despite wanting to. Today I felt super drained just at the thought of making myself some tea. And when I do one thing, there's always thoughts about what I should be doing instead right now - continue my notes vault, continue the court summary, catch up on seminar recordings that I couldn't attend, do the practice exams, finally fully go in on the VPS setup, go to the gym, draw more, read more, sleep more, write a blog post here, a guest post for another blog, write another review...

I've been trying to rest a bit and not let the thoughts consume me. The past few days I've been mostly on the couch playing Hello Kitty Island Adventure on the Deck, and my order of the complete Sex and the City DVD set has arrived.

I'm very lucky to have a very supportive and helpful wife on my side, it would be infinitely harder without her. Still, I am just super tired of it all today and I can't even get motivated to get dressed.

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Published 16 Jul, 2025

#2025